Sunday, October 14, 2007

I Love My Black Lab More Than You Love Your Mother-Daughter Incestuous Marriage

This is Cary Grant. He is my black lab. See how cute he is?

He is a really good doggy. And my girlfriend and I are really good doggy mommies. Because he is so cute, if gays are allowed to marry each other, then mothers and daughters will also start to want to get married.

Or something.
*Obligatory cute story*

Cary Grant, unlike Blair Warner (who is a small dog), is housebroken. He never poops or pees in the house.

But one time, Cary Grant had the diarrhea from gastroenteritis, unbeknownst to his doggy mommies. On said day of diarrhea, Mommy #1 arrived home from work and noticed a foul stench coming from the office.

For, hidden on the floor, underneath a pile of mail that was previously on top of the desk, and pajama pants that were on the bed, was a pile of liqui-poop.

Moral of this story: labs are smarter than other dogs because they use out of reach supplies to cover up their messes.

2nd Moral of the story: that wasn't really a cute story so much as it was gross.


Oh, and gays shouldn't be allowed to marry because mothers and daughters will want equal marriage rights, too.


Rachel M. said...

Oh! Now I get the point! Every time a doggie poops, a daughter-marrying/pedophile/bestiality and necrophilia-practicing mother gets its wings.

Grace said...

I want to marry Cary Grant. I would marry Blair Warner, but Blair Warner is a girl dog. And seeing as I'm a girl, me marrying Blair Warner would make the Baby Jesus cry.

Brita said...

HAHAHA rachel you kill me. PS. At my earliest opportunity at work today, i'm going to google the shit out of mother-daughter marriages ha ha, i said shit.