the wedding ceremony went on without a hitch. it was beautiful, tasteful, and well, everything a commitment ceremony should be: symbolic of shared love between two people who have decided to commit the rest of their lives together.
there was nothing "perverse" about it.
the straight people in attendance (there were over 300 people there) didn't feel anything was taken away from their own marriages.
there was no talk of legalizing polygamy or bestiality. (surprise!)
while there was talk of raising children together, it wasn't in the context of "acquiring purchasable commodities." it was in the context of "starting a family." these are two loving partners who will undoubtedly be amazing parents. they have the love, compassion, ability, and means to provide a good home to children who will feel loved.
the more i observed, the angrier i got that people are trying to infringe on rights of individuals.
the only people who could possibly get in the way of this family's happiness are those who purport to "protect families." as if family is a catch-all phrase that only represents a mother, father, daughter, son template. as if there are no other functional variations of this.
further, gays and lesbians are quickly becoming the scapegoat to "pro-family" organizations. it seems most, if not all, of their energies are all about banning same sex marriage. the current marriage crisis is hardly caused by gay and lesbian couples.
i would have loved to have seen any anti-gay marriage advocate in attendance friday night, to see what sort of justifcation they could have offered that these people don't deserve the same rights as everyone else. or to call their "union" a marriage.
the truth is, gay people have always existed. and just because a marriage has been between a man and a woman in the past, it doesn't mean it has to stay that way. unless someone doesn't believe that a homosexual relationship is equal to a heterosexual relationship, there is no reason to deny someone the right to call their relationship a "marriage." does extending the defintion of marriage to allow for gay couples somehow demean that defintion for straight people? are gay people lesser than straight people?
if you don't want to personally acknowledge someone's marriage, then don't. no one is stopping you from believing what you want to believe. or acknowledging whatever marriage you want to. just don't do it in the workplace. and don't say that someone else's relationship doesn't deserve the same recognition from the public or the state as yours does.
separate is not equal. "unions" are not "marriage." if gay people are ever going to feel like more than second class citizens in a country that has traditionally marginilized and ostracized them, they need to be able to say that their relationships are on the same par as heterosexual relationships.
i know the "feeling like more than second-class citizens" argument doesn't hold much power to anti-gay people, or people who believe their "normal" heterosexual marriage is the only sacred type of union, and that's fine.
but for those of us who this directly affects, it is enough for action.
Saturday, September 1, 2007
Posted by Jane Know at 12:32 PM