Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Some final thoughts, before I put this to rest for a while

This has been taking up too much of my time. And, honestly, the end of the semester is nearing, work is busy, and the holidays are approaching. I am working on putting a lot of this nonsense drama-queen Proposition 8 stuff past me so I can move on with my otherwise happy life.

However, I was compelled to write one last bit before I completely switch gears. I am completely burned out on the topic of Prop 8 and the 2008 election, so this will be it for a while.

It has come to my attention that some anti-SSM bloggers are throwing a fit over one of my recent blog articles.

Within the article I wrote, I had pasted a picture of two little girls wearing "god hates fags" shirts, immediately after a sentence in which I had linked to Opine Editorial's member "On Lawn" and his blog article, where he discussed celebrating the passage of Proposition 8 with his first-grader:

"Last night our first grader (who stood with us cheering on prop 8) was noticeably sad. She was worried Prop 8 would not pass. When she told me why, I was nearly devastated.

It turns out she thought if it passed, same sex marriage would be the law -- meaning men have to marry men and women have to marry women. The wording "same-sex marriage" has a large part to blame in that, but so do we as parents who did not explain it better before. It took a moment of deep empathy to feel the pain she must have gone through to believe that defeating Prop 8 meant breaking up our marriage. Even though her fears were not true, they were real."


Haha! How like, totally, cute. And stuff. His first-grader thought her daddy was going to have to marry another daddy!

While I probably should not have posted a picture of anonymous children wearing such hateful shirts, and for that I apologize, I refuse to apologize for my words that came after:

"I think it's sad that those who shriek at the thought of schools teaching 'sex and marriage' in schools to first-graders are the same people who have no problem telling their first-graders about 'sex and marriage' (ie-gay people) in their homes when GLBT rights are taken away."

What is also sad is that children, before their parents are able to teach them that homosexuality is wrong, often have no reason to dislike gay people, or to root for the passage of a measure that leaves intact gay and lesbian-headed families without the same legal rights as intact heterosexual-headed families.

It's a sad day when children start to believe that their parents' prejudice is "the way the world should be." It is sad because a little girl who cheers for the passing of Proposition 8, an amendment that I am sure she did not look up the meaning of herself, might take that support she learned from her father, and put it to use by making fun of a child with gay parents. Or in some other way she may try to make that child feel inferior.

Chairm, in his reprimand to a pro-SSM blogger, continued about me,

"The mischaracterization produced by that blogger is par for the course for her and almost every SSMer in the blogosphere.

In that blogger's case, this is what she does, relentlessly, and is not something that arose, momentarily, due to dissappointed [sic] with the vote on November 4th."


He also ordered her to "Please acknowledge, confirm, clarify, and/or correct the compliment you gave for that blogger, under that blogpost, before proceeding any further here in our comment sections."

[She did so, which you can read here.]

And you can read my response.

While I am ashamed at some of my past actions, notably even bringing up someone else's innocent children [who may or may not grow up to be just as homophobic as their fathers], I stand by my statements that I made about this anonymous "On Lawn" character over at Opine. I also can not take back anything in the past that I have said or done. Some of my comments, especially the older ones, are when I was also a neophyte blogger and were my knee-jerk responses to blatant homophobia and ill-will towards me and my family.

While I am sure Seda would love a civil discourse, and it looks like that has been going on over there for the time being, what I do not appreciate is being made, by Opine Editorials, to look like some overly sensitive lesbian blogger who thinks that everyone who opposes same-sex marriage is a bigot.

I have had many a thought-provoking, decent conversation with people who oppose SSM and have ended up agreeing to disagree on the issue. The difference has been in their approach, lack of overt hatred towards GLBT people, and kindness.

I think that people can, actually, oppose SSM and not be homophobic. It's just that that is hardly ever the case.

You see, while Chairm was busy trying turning me into the bad guy in all of this, he casually forgets his own mistakes and bias. While he is busy turning every pro-marriage equality argument into "just another example of overly sensitive gays and lesbians playing identity politics," he is forgetting that he is playing his own form of identity politics, his own heterosexist invisible ideology.

If I have seemed unjustifiably harsh towards the Opine fellas by calling them homobigots, it is because for the past year and a half, I have seen them stand idily by while other Opine members say horrible, horrible things about gays and lesbians, and worse, about their families and children.

And nearly every time outright bigotry has been brought to their attention, someone at Opine rationalizes the bigoted behavior.
I would not feel so inclined to dismiss them as more bigots if they didn't have, as a tagline to their blog the following Shakespeare quote:

"Were kisses all the joys in bed,
One woman would another wed."


[Obviously, they have practically no understanding of what lesbians really do in bed]

While they feel completely justified in attacking our families and the way we raise children on a daily basis, they don't understand why they are called out sometimes in the way they are raising theirs. They can't see that attacks on our family lives are just like attacks on theirs.

That gosh darn invisible heterosexism again.

My current thinking, then, has been that some people are so incredibly far to the right on the issue, that they can't concede even the simplest of things about gay and lesbians families, that they will never change their minds.

In case people have forgotten, I have made several honest, good-faith attempts at dialogue with Opine members. Ones that were actually grossly misused and taken advantage of.

I am open to considering other points of view, but when those points of view are stubbornly strewn about with innaccurate information and religious-based articles, there is really no point. At least, there is no point in wasting my precious time and energy engaging in direct dialogue with people who bombard and constantly bait and switch. Bait and switch. Ad nauseum.

And if that means calling people out and exposing them for what they are, then so be it.

No one's real identity is known here. They can go about their lives in the real world, while quietly [or not?] obsessing over gay families on the internet every day.

With alleged friends of homosexuals like Opine Editorials claims to be, I would rather them my enemies.

All that being said, I wish Seda the best of luck in her dialogue over there. For the time being, they seem to be abiding by her rules respectfully.

Listen, I would love to think that the boys at Opine have somehow changed their ways and are now all of a sudden all about peaceful, respecful dialogue. But I won't hold my breath.

[UPDATE: In case anyone thinks Opine has changed in the least bit, I invite you to observe the following conversation they are having with someone named "Velvet Blade" just today, observe how they ignore homophobic Jose's long-winded diatribes against "sodomy." Observe how On Lawn and Chairm make up their own propaganda speak and then expect their opponent to intrinsically know what it means. And if you don't know what it means, watch them order their opponents to go read through the propaganda archives of their blog. Observe how several members at once write book-length comments to Velvet Blade and expect him to address each and every point they make... or else that means he isn't sticking to the original topic. Watch Fitz dismiss arguments as "silly," forgetting that he can't spell or use simple grammar most of the time (as a lawyer). I'm just sayin'. They will never change.]

5 comments:

Fannie said...

It was admirable of you to apologize, especially in light of the fact that you have never received any sort of apology from Chairm, On Lawn, Fitz, Jose and company for their own human errors and outright bigotry.

I took a look at the comment thread in your update- the one involving Velvet Blade and was saddened to see yet another Jose Solano rant against anal sex while the other Opine fellows stood idly by condoning his hate speech.

Acting with compassion and kindness does not mean allowing others to abuse you. Invariably, entering Opine means subjecting yourself to abuse. Good for you for calling them out on it, and removing yourself from the never-ending cycle of drama there.


Anyway, good luck with your studies. I hope you will make time to continue reading my blog.

Jane Know said...

Fannie,
thank you for stopping by. I will still be blogging. However, I have to put to rest Proposition 8 topics for now. I have seen way too many ignorant justifications for its passing, not only at Opine, but on many other blogs and websites, too.

It's too draining to constantly see and hear "being gay is wrong because the Bible says so" and being called "disgusting" and "perverse" and "unhealthy" and "disease-spreading."

I am sure, in time, more and more people will come to accept that same-sex relationships are on par with heterosexual relationships. But for the time being, I am sick of justifying my relationship and why it deserves equality to anonymous internet personas.

I will, of course, still keep up with your blog. :-)

kemibe said...

For any of them to describe anyone else as "relentless" is the height of absurdity, because, absent coherence or sound arguments, their entirely collective shtick is descending on other people's blogs and unloading as much raw horseshit as (in)humanly possible. Morons like "On lawn" deserve every scrap of abuse heaped upon them and more.

kemibe said...

Speaking of coherence, I cut off half of that comment and mistyped the other half. Really, I had a point!

Jane Know said...

Kemibe,
Thanks for stopping by.
Also, too bad you stopped your running blog! As an avid runner, I would have loved to have read it.

Oh well. :-)