Friday, July 25, 2008

"AFA Members are so smart! S-M-R-T!"

I know several blogs have already posted similar hilarious comments from the Boycott McDonald's website.

But some of them are just too funny to let go without me making fun of personally. I have not added the "[sic]" notation in any of these comments, as that would just be distracting to the reader, given the amount of spelling and grammatical errors that you are about to read.

For example [emphasis added when bold, my comments follow, in italics]:

"We love your fries, but we will not compromise truth. You have taken money that our family, and millions of others, have contributed to the success of the McDonald's Corp. and chosen to use it for an agenda that defies the foundation of our nation, the family, as created by a man and woman. Perhaps you should spend more time sitting at the tables in the play yards of the thousands of McD's restaurants around the country. We will only be missing the fries, but your corporation has lost something much greater, respect and truth."

"I will take me 10 great grand children to Wendys BurgerKing or some other place. YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY GAME IN TOWN!" [err... "game?" Did I miss something?]

"It was bad enough having to keep my Spanish to English dictionary handy every time I pulled up to your drive-thru window (to the tune of about $1,000 per year). But this is the final straw (and I guess the final Big Mac) for me. Your blatant disregard for the strongly held moral values most Americans hold dear has cost you my business. Yes, Wendy's, I will have a Frosty with that." [Because it wouldn't be a conservative, "Christian" attack on Teh Gay Agenda if a little racism weren't thrown in for good measure}

"No more McDonald's for us - zip, zero, nada. You have taken the wrong side of this issue. We are not the haters here. The homosexuals are the intolerant ones. It's their way or the highway." [You're right. Homasekshuls have had it sooo easy for the past couple centuries. You poor, oppressed, heterosexual Christians finally deserve a break.]

"My family has supported your business for well over 25 years. We have been loyal customers eating at your establishments 4 times/week. It pains me to say, but, I now will take my business and hard-earned money elsewhere. As much as we have enjoyed the food over the years, we will not continue to do so because of your close-minded leadership. We are amazed that your leadership is taking this stand. Such ashame. You will be losing nothing just to be neutral on same sex marriages. Now you WILL lose.... customers. The loss of revenue is completely YOUR choice." [I'm sure they are on the brink of bankruptcy at this very moment!]

"Being for traditional marriage is not hatred. Warning others of dangers is not hatred either. Homosexuals are still at higher risk of AIDS. We that have lost loved ones to AIDS don't want others to go through it." [Yet another Concerned Voice for the public health of our nation's homosexuals. Hang on, I will give you the phone number to your local AIDS organization so you can volunteer your time there. Or better yet, I will give you information on helping your local black women, as they now represent 8 of 10 new HIV cases in the U.S.]

"As long as McDonald's keeps supporting same sex marriage my family will NO longer be eating there. Please Do consider others Faith and our children. It is Very wrong to be supporting gays, it even says so in the Bible. I feel that you are so wrong about supporting gays, mabey you should pick up your Bible and READ it!!!" [According to my femi-nazi-lezbo-wicca koran of mormon, sapphic desires and actions are perfectly normal and natural. "Mabey" you should stick that book in your back pocket.]

"McDonald's targets 2 year old children to blackmail their parents into bringing them to McDonald's, & has helped to undermine & destroy the family by turning meal time into "play time." Now "IT" wants to foist a "gay" time on all Americans. This is beyond "hatred." This is arrogance & contempt for even basic human dignity. No McBuggers for me." [seriously?! "McBuggers?" LOL]

"We have generally chosen McDonald's. We now will simply make another choice. There are other options. We cannot support a company with an agenda." [good luck with that]

"McDs was once a great resturant, but once my family of 5 found out about your support for the homosexual agenda we have decided to no longer patrone with your facitities. We hope you change your minds on this issue, but until then my entire family of over 200 will no longer be a patron at any Mcdonalds or any other place that supports agendas as this. Sorry." [200? and I thought the Duggers were bad]

"My family will no longer support a company whose policies are in direct opposition to our moral values. The militant homosexual movement is a threat to national security and my family. I will oppose it and all who support it." [I'm picturing armies of gay men and lesbians in berets and fatigues marching in front of the McDonald's in my neighborhood]

"My boycott of McDonald's just cost your company at least $300 dollars a month...and that's just what my family spent there. That does not include all of our friends and family that I've told who were equally outraged at your support of the NGLCC. Did I mention the roughly $300 a month over the last 5 years or so? Add that up if you will." [call me crazy, but is it really 'family-friendly' to force feed your children $300/month worth of McDonald's?]

"McDonald's (as well as any other "business" that will not stay neutral on any "cultural" issue) will not get my "business" ...they need to stick to ..."business". On the "cultural" issue of homosexuality, the reason I oppose it is not because I "hate" is because I have come to know God personally through His word. I have come to learn that, just as a parent loves their child too much to let them do something that will destroy their (or anyone else's)lives, so does God. He loves each of us and desires that we come to know the truth that we won't hurt ourselves or we can be set free." [I know when I talk to God, he says that he "saves." He means that he shops at Wal-Mart.]

"I will never, ever, visit a McDonald's in lieu of these developments." [man, "these developments" must be an awesome place.]

"When I travel I look for a McDonalds for breakfast now I'll go to Bojangles" [A-wha?!?]

Okay folks, that's it for now. Expect some more fun in the next edition of ""AFA Members are so smart! S-M-R-T!"


John said...

That was fun, good job.

I hate to bear bad news to those who a switching to Burger King, but Burger King also contributes to the National Chamber of Commerce:

Jane Know said...

Haha! I suppose there is always "Bojangles" for the conservative Christian.

Anonymous said...

ha ha! nice!

It must be tough to not be able to eat McDonald's, use Kodak film, shop at Jewel, use any IBM products, have a Motorola or AT&T phone, fly American Airlines or Southwest, drink Pepsi, basically have an account at any major bank and I mean, honestly, is there anything Johnson & Johnson doesn't own...

Speaking of, with Johnson & Johnson riding the big rainbow techno pumpin' bandwagon, what are all of these "family" people rubbing their 19 babies with if they can't use J&J's products...there will be un-oiled, un-powdered babies everywhere! it will be anarchy!

DAMN! It's got to be so hard to be straight in today's closed-minded society. I am so glad that I am a bid 'ol dyke and don't have to worry about discrimination. = )Best of all, I get to eat all the McDonald's I want! Woo-Hoo!

Jane Know said...

I think it's funny that gays are supposedly the ones with the unhealthy lifestyles, yet as we have seen here, thousands of heterosexual parents are feeding their ENTIRE families McDonald's on a daily basis.

And we wonder why obesity is the biggest problem our country is facing. Far outweighing (no pun intended) HIV/AIDS.

Fannie said...

LOL- I, too, found it sorta funny that all these families bragged about how often they ate at McDonald's:

"My boycott of McDonald's just cost your company at least $300 dollars a month"


These families can thank us later when they aren't dying of heart disease and diabetes. Although, it sounds like these smarties are going to switch more to Burger King than Subway.