Are the Watchmen on the Walls a Hate Group?

Fannie posts her opinions here.

Decide for yourselves.

An Unnatural Fear of Teenagers?

No stranger to long-winded, pseudoscientific rants, Renee's second-latest, greatest article discusses Today's Immoral Teenager and Its Reluctance to Form Lifelong Relationships While Still a Teen.

Her article is based largely on an article entitled "Nation of Wimps", by Hara Estroff Marano. The Nation of Wimps' website explains this alleged phenomenon: "Armed with hyperconcern and microscrutiny, parents are going to ludicrous lengths to take the lumps and bumps out of life for their children today. However well-intentioned, their efforts have the net effect of making kids more fragile. That may be why the young are breaking down in record numbers or staying stuck in endless adolescence.

What's more, parents are seeking status and meaning in the achievements of their children. The trouble with turning tots into trophies is that the developmental needs of the young are sacrificed to the psychological needs of adults. But the biggest problem with pushing perfection may be that it masks the real secret of success in life. As any innovator will tell you, success hinges less on getting everything right than on how you handle getting things wrong. The ultimate irony is, in a flat world you don't make kids competitive by pushing them to be perfect but by allowing them to become passionate about something that compels their interest."

I don't have much of an opinion on that article. It sounds to me like it's more someone's opinion than actual research or fact. There are parts of it I agree with it to some extent, but I don't think at all that our kids are "wimpy." There are some parents who are completely overbearing. The yuppie soccer moms and dads who micromanage their kids sports, diets, academics, music lessons, etc. And a lot of times, when those kids have their first taste of freedom (usually at college), all hell breaks loose. I've seen it happen before.

But I think those parents are relatively rare. Who has the time and money for all of the above? Most parents end up doing the best they can with what they have, and the kids turn out okay.

Frankly, I don't understand Renee's weird fear of/for the next generation. I suppose each generation has their curmudgeonly older people who live in fear of "today's youngsters with their newfangled ideas." I'm not sure what their fears are exactly, but it is probably rooted in a basic human resistance to change. (even when that change is good).

Observe Renee's paragraph, which follows an excerpt from the article she quotes:

"A popular concept is group dating for teenagers, parents think teens are safe, but it is nothing more then just hanging out with friends. Hanging out isn't learning about a person or talking to them on a personal level face to face. Something teenagers need to understand before becoming an adult. The hooking up style of non-relationships or friends with benefits has not left women feeling liberated. In fact men have all the power, because there is little to no possibility of any personal relationship developing when men and women engage in 'hanging out'. If you do get time alone, then the only expectation is casual sex. Many teenage girls could only imagine the power of choice to say, 'no, thank you', to a male peer who asks her out for coffee or lunch rather then trying push off a drunk with his pants around his knees at a co-ed sleepover. Now everything is a regrettable intoxicated hook-up, that borders in many instances date-rape, except without the actual date." [emphasis mine]

So now it appears that Renee has become the expert on teenage dating. I wonder if she has any stats to back her claims, or if this entire rant is just her opinion. If so, then she would do best to not state her opinions as common knowledge.

Especially the part about how "hanging out" in groups has given men all the power.

Well, I'm no "culturologist" or anything, but I do know that hanging out in groups is a normal part of teen psychosocial development. They are understandably less focused on forming serious monogamous relationships while still in high school, than they are with fitting in with their same-sex peers and the start of dating. I acknowledge that high school is the time people start forming lifelong friendships and relationships, but it is largely a time of social experimentation, as well. While most teens start to develop a legitimate interest in the opposite sex during high school, I would be worried if that was the main focus of my teenager's life.

I would be more worried if my teen were, in fact, in one very serious committed relationship and only spent time with that person, than if he/she were hanging out more with a group of his or her friends.

That would seem weird to me. Anyone else?

She says, "Young men and women are wimps in relationships. If teenagers understood relationships, all the causal sex would diminished dramatically because they would have a better grasp how their emotions and hormones are suppose to work together. They would stop wasting their time screwing around and find someone to love."

Renee seems to think that the teen years are the time for children (because they are still children by all mental and emotional developmental standards) to find their life partners. I don't agree with that at all. Teens are largely learning how to form relationships during this developmental stage.

When looked at from the Erickson model of stages of psychological and emotional development in children, which is largely accepted in the medical world, it would appear that all of the problems Renee mentions are part of the eight stages. One can peruse that link for a more in-depth description of each stage.

My point is, it isn't fair to hold teenagers--who are still overcoming different stages of their own emotional development--to adult relationship standards. In no way would I expect, or want, my teenaged child searching for his or her spouse in high school. Why limit oneself to your pool of high school classmates when the world is so much larger?

For example, as one website describes "Each stage is regarded by Erikson as a 'psychosocial crisis,' which arises and demands resolution before the next stage can be satisfactorily negotiated."

To be fair, Renee has valid points that I do agree with to some extent: "The larger problem is that millions of teens don't see any functional relationship behavior in their own families. Children, whose father hasn't been in the picture since they were a baby and a rotation of boyfriends by their mother. Some children seen [sic] dad walk away from the family through divorce or seen [sic] mom just think of herself when dad simply didn't make her happy anymore..."

However, her focus on her ideal family form, which I'm sure means male and female dual parent households completely leaves out gay and lesbian parents (which most of the current research has shown to be just as effective as dual heterosexual parent-headed households). I won't delve into the merits of child-rearing by gay and lesbian parents here, but her omission is predictable.

I find it disturbing that Renee, a self-ascribed feminist, focuses more on the passive "absence" of a father, yet when a female leaves a family, it is because she is actively "thinking of herself when dad didn't make her happy anymore." She implicitly places more blame and guilt on a female who leaves than the more expected/accepted scenario of a dad leaving.

What I also find disturbing is that Renee (and others) automatically assumes the worst for the millions of children that are headed by single-parent families. Give them some credit. I refuse to believe that the single reason a child turns out "bad" is because he or she was raised by his or her single mother (or father). Get real. Sometimes relationships and marriages fail against all odds. Sometimes adults make mistakes and marry the wrong person. There are always extenuating circumstances, and people are rarely just selfish assholes who choose to leave their children and spouses.

But let's not automatically discount their children's abilities to forge ahead to lead successful lives just because a "fatherhead" or "motherhead" is missing from the picture. I refuse to believe that kids are not resilient by their very nature. They are the most adaptable of all human age groups, and often make it despite their parents' mistakes, even in the worst of all scenarios.

While the two-parent household is the ideal, of course, it isn't fair to assume that it is ALWAYS in the best interest of the child for the parents to stick together. Sometimes that causes more harm than good (abuse, addiction, fighting, etc).

Let's give our single parents and our children a little more credit, instead of self-righteously declaring that they need to be "saved" from anything.

Watchmen on the Walls and Opine Editorials: A Comparison

When a website's editor-in-chief displays dishonest tactics it is difficult to take his blog and his cast of characters seriously.

What is even more difficult to take seriously is when that editor-in-chief compares himself and his blog to dangerous, violent anti-homosexual hate group.

Observe this exchange:

http://opine-editorials.blogspot.com/2007/10/watchmen-on-walls.html


Op-ed:

"The effort to undermine the importance of the family existed before gay identity and it will exist after."


Grace:

"After gay identity? What do you mean by that?"....

"Do you think gay identities are going to disappear someday? That homosexuality is a trend? That gay people are like platform shoes or parachute pants?"


Op-ed:

"That question doesn't even make sense. How are people like articles of clothing to you? Then maybe I can answer."....

"Comparing people to clothing, like discarding responsible procreation, is just another example of the unreasonable notions that follow from an initial belief in identity politics."



Grace:

"I wasn't really making a comparison between people and articles of clothing. Does anyone REALLY think I was?"


[No, Grace. Intelligent readers get that you were asking Op-ed if he thought gayness was a fad, like parachute pants. But alas, the dishonesty progresses....]


Op-ed:

"Here is what you wrote: [emphasis added] "That gay people are like platform shoes or parachute pants?"

If that's not a comparison, you need to tell us what it is. Because otherwise we only have what you actually wrote to go by."


[Everyone, note how Op-Ed dishonestly deleted the crucial beginning to Grace's thought which, when left unedited, reads like this: "Do you think gay identities are going to disappear someday? That homosexuality is a trend? That gay people are like platform shoes or parachute pants?" Details Shmetails, "Ed." Sorry man, but I'd fire him. At best, he's sloppy. At worst, he's intentionally lying. Is this the kind of "Editor" they value? One whose only consistency is distorting the other's sides arguments? Because they are better than his own "arguments?"]

What is funny, and scary, is that the point of this post was for the members of Opine Editorials to compare and contrast themselves to the hate-group Watchmen on the Walls. Seriously. Observe how Op-Ed and his tiny clan masturbate each other's bigotry and hatred, and feed off each other's rationalizations of their anti-gay stances:

The initial article was this (because On Lawn is never one for words:)

"We are the Watchmen on the Walls.[Jane's note: Opine posted a hypertext link to Watchmen on the Walls]

This might be a good place to discuss how much Opine has in common, and not in common, with their statement.

Your comments are welcome. Are homosexuals the chief enemy of the natural family? Are they thinly veiled hate-mongers? I will save my commentary for the comment section also."

Chairm said this: "...I'm not in favor of villifying same-sex attracted people for the sake of their experience of same-sex attraction.

I'm not in favor of gay identity politics and its corruptive influence even on the rhetoric, if not the thinking, of those who defend the natural family and defend the nature of marriage.

With those qualifications, there is much to agree with on the website." [emphasis Jane Know's]

Like what, Chair? What exactly do you agree with if it is not for villifying gay people? Because you sure could've fooled me. And many others.

Read what the Southern Poverty Law Center's "Hatewatch Blog" says about this violent group:

http://www.splcenter.org/intel/intelreport/article.jsp?aid=809

Among other things, the SPLC says about this violent hate group "The anti-gay tactics of the Slavic evangelicals in the U.S. branch of the Watchmen movement are just as crude and even more physically abusive than Fred Phelps' infamous Westboro Baptist Church, and they're rooted in gay-bashing theology that's even more hardcore than the late Jerry Falwell's. Slavic anti-gay talk radio hosts and fundamentalist preachers routinely deliver hateful screeds on the airwaves and from the pulpit in their native tongue that, were they delivered in English, would be a source of nationwide controversy."

Perhaps Op-Ed and his clan should be more careful with which hate groups they compare themselves to instead of blindly (and stupidly) agreeing with everyone who says "gays are an abomination."

Or perhaps Chair and Op-Ed agree because of these ideals, by Scott Lively,a longtime anti-gay activist who is now the chief international envoy for the Watchmen movement, "Lively identifies 'the enemy' as not only homosexuals, but also what he terms 'homosexualists,' a category that includes anyone, regardless of sexual orientation, who "actively promotes homosexuality as morally and socially equivalent to heterosexuality as a basis for social policy."

Sound familiar?

I wouldn't be so proud. Lively was just ordered by a civil judge to pay $20,000 to a lesbian photojournalist he dragged by the hair through the halls of a Portland church in 1991. A quick google search of "Scott Lively" also found that he is your state AFA (American Family Association) affiliate for California. Are all these people connected? Jeesh.

Lively is also credited with writing the book "The Pink Swastika: Homosexuality in the Nazi Party." A book that blames gay people on everything from South African apartheid and U.S. slavery; to, predictably, the Holocaust.

The book was largely and logically discredited by legitimate historians and in a 2005 Intelligence Report article. Stephen Feinstein, director of the Center for Holocaust and Genocide Studies at the University of Minnesota, said the book was "produced by a right-wing Christian cult and is as correct as flat earth theory."

[side rant: Lively is also close friends with "Pastor" Alexey Ledyaev, the head of the New Generation Church, an evangelical Christian megachurch based in Riga, the capital city of Latvia. Ledyaev is close friends with televangelist Pat Robertson--"a man who once predicted God would punish Florida with hurricanes and other disasters because Disney World had allowed a "Gay Days" discount — and was invited to the 2006 National Prayer Breakfast hosted by President George Bush."]

Let's play a new game: How many degrees of separation from one man in power to dangerous men on the brink of it?

The group of Watchmen also associate with ex-NFL player Ken Hutchinson, "the African-American founder of Antioch Bible Church, a Seattle-area megachurch. "Hutch," as the ex-NFL player is known, played a key role in persuading Microsoft to temporarily withdraw its support for a Washington bill that would have made it illegal to fire an employee for their sexual orientation. In 2004, his "Mayday for Marriage" rally drew 20,000 people to the Seattle Mariner's Safeco Field to oppose legalizing same-sex marriage."

I'm sure they think this means they have the full support and backing of the entire black community now that "Hutch" is on their side.

Back to the issue of Lively, In August he spoke in Russia about the hate crime death of Satender Singh, a 26-year-old gay Indian man who was beaten to death by Russian-speaking gay bashers in a park near Sacramento, Calif., a hotbed of militant anti-gay activism among Slavic immigrants.

Here is his own personal take on the murder:

"I’ve been working with the Russian community in Sacramento. And I want to tell you this is an example [that] will show how bad things are in the United States. There was a situation in Sacramento a few weeks ago in a public park. There was a group of homosexuals and they were very drunk. And one of the homosexual men was taking off his pants. And there were children in the park. And a Russian man went over to these homosexuals and he was rebuking them. And there started a fight. The Russian man punched the homosexual [audience applauds and laughs]. No, no… don’t.

The homosexual was very drunk and he fell down and he hit his head and he died. And now [audience applauds] no … no.

And the Russian man has been accused of murder. And the FBI is seeking him. And all the powers in Sacramento have been accusing all of the Russian community of being murderers. And the goal is to silence everyone who speaks against homosexuality. And this is a very dangerous situation."

Back to the issue of Opine Editorials comparison of themselves to The Watchmen, apparently, the only problem they have with this group is their focus on "identity politics." They don't care about the violence against gay people, because to them, gay people don't exist. Gay people to the Opine Editorials are just pandering to an anti-family, anti-religious bias, on their mission to destory American Families, and using their "gay identities" as a means of that.

Yes. That is really how delusional they are.

Note the following exchange:

Op-Ed started it here..."I'm not saying the Watchmen are doing any of the above. I'm just saying clearing away the identity politics rather than appearing to embrace them will do more to accomplish the Watchmen's goals.

10/23/2007 10:30:00 AM
op-ed said...
Correction: What the Watchmen really say is this:

'But we are especially focused against homosexuality, because those who practice this self-destructive vice, and have organized themselves into a political movement, are the chief enemies of the natural family.'

So they don't really blame 'homosexuals,' but rather those who are promoting this particular brand of identity politics. I still think focusing on just one brand of identity politics misses the point. The effort to undermine the importance of the family existed before gay identity and it will exist after.

10/23/2007 11:32:00 AM
Marty said...
I don't see gay identity politics as seeking to destroy the family. I see those seeking to destroy the family using identity politics to get that goal accomplished.


Amen."

So, there you have it. If the Watchmen stopped feeding into homosexualists' "identity politics," they would have a hell of a lot more in common with Opine Editorials. Because feeding into identity politics makes one immoral. Thus, by their own logic, not playing identiy politics makes one a moral, righteous savior of the American Family, regardless of who gets killed and hurt in the process. Shall I break down into simple logic, Op-Ed style? Nah. I think you get it.

They call homosexuals "thinly veiled hate-mongers."

I have yet to see gay rights groups focus on killing, beating, denouncing lifestyles, etc. to get their messages across. Yet groups like Opine and Watchmen will do or say whatever it takes to spread their messages and ideals. And to them, it is all okay because they are "religious" or it's in the name of preserving families. Or something.

My favorite is the last quote by Chairm, ever the master at creating his own vocab: "Treating the both-sexed combinations as one-sexed would discard the core of marriage. And that presupposes that the gay model is superior to the conjugal relationship. The merger would be a takeover.

Gay identity politics corrupts on multiple levels. But it is promoted as some sort of cleansing agent that will improve society."

Right. A "cleansing agent." That is the purpose of proponents of gay marriage. To cleanse out all those "yucky" heteros and take over the world. bwah hah hah.

But for real, Op-Ed is attempting to associate himself and his blog with this radical right-wing, violent hate group. A group that laughs at and mocks the killing of an innocent gay man. You either don't care that they support his death, or you agree with it. Ignorance is no excuse. So which is it, Op-Ed? Would you like to see them kill more gay people? Is that your ultimate goal? That we will just go away? Everything you write certainly suggests that.

Yet, to Chairm and Opine Editorials, homosexuals are the ones that want to "cleanse" society?

Then answer these questions: How can making something more inclusive lead to "cleansing" and/or exclusion? How does tolerance lead to exclusion of heterosexuals or families?

I'll stick with my allies and ideologies. And Opine Editorials, you stick with yours. Have fun with that.

Concerned Woman for America: Jose Solano

What do I hate even more than straight male homobigots speaking for the black community and the gay community?

Straight male homobigots speaking for "women."

I googled "Jose Solano and homosexual" and came across some very interesting websites. One of them, a story from 11/2000 in Concerned Women for America, quotes Jose Solano as an opponent of an Oregon measure to approve mention of homosexuality in schools.

"'I completely respect the civil rights of adults that want to be homosexual, but don’t tell me I have to tell my students that it’s OK' (Washington Times, 11/1/00). Teachers like Solano want to introduce students to the health risks of homosexuality and to the lack of scientific evidence that homosexuality is genetically caused."

Another question: where are all the "concerned women," in Concerned Women for America?!?!

One would think that an advocacy group of that caliber would have enough PR common sense to have women speak for them, and women as Policy Directors. Instead of quoting the men in the organization.

I'm starting to wonder just how many "Concerned Women" there are. Probably too many, but they are probably okay with letting their men speak for them. Or perhaps, over at CWA, they are merely giving their men access to the equal opportunity they are denied in so many other areas of life and employment. Understandable.

Jose Solano, from one Concerned Woman to another, I salute you. Mkay, girl?



Girl power.

What's Funnier than Funny?

Buying all 7 Harry Potter books for your children: roughly $120.00.

Watching all 5 Harry Potter movies in the theater plus popcorn and snacks for Traditional Fundie Family of Four: $500.00.

Learning that your beloved wise-old man mentor character is a Homosexual, the lifestyle of which you publicly and hatefully condemn on a daily basis: Priceless.

Guess which fundies are bleating now. The winner gets a free spellbook.

Jose Solano's daughter has read every single Harry Potter book, that he probably bought for her, and now he is pissed that Dumbledore is gay!

hahahahahahahahahahahaha. *snort*

It's hilarious because he probably didn't care at all that she was reading this "homosexualist propoganda" because IT. ISN'T. HARMFUL. TO. CHILDREN. but now all of a sudden, he's bleating away about the Occult, and spells, and the series' non-Christianity in general. Something he probably didn't care one iota about until he J.K. Rowling made her announcement last month. Why does Jose all of a suddent sound like he's a paranoid accuser at the Salem witchcraft trials?

He says " Clearly it would have been a financial disaster as the vast majority of parents don’t want to entertain the notion that kids are going to get magic lessons from a homosexual. It was bad enough for many that they were going to be instructed in a Godless, occult, witchcraft world where all sorts of demons can be conjured up but where no one ever thinks of praying to God for guidance or help."

Ha. Fucking. Ha.

Yes, Jose. Because we Americans should all be held to YOUR particular religious standards. In fact, even authors should write about your religion only. Publishers should only publish works of God. And further, our wittle kids in America should only read and learn about Christianity.

In fact, all the Idiots at our least favorite blog are bleating away about it.

They've resorted now to attacking the beloved Dumbledore, and even attacking Rowling herself, and her talent. It's insane. And once again proves that their blog is based more on attacking gay people and much less on protecting "families."

Jose says, "Well, my children haven’t heard about it and guess what? I’m not telling them"

Thinking you have absolute control over what your children hear and see from sources other than you? You guessed it. Priceless.

If he weren't so hateful, I would pity him. But he doesn't deserve my pity.

That's right, Idiots. You're right and the rest of the world is wrong. Rowling is now a talentless satan-worshipping witch that has now played a "cruel joke" on the innocent children who read her books.

Just keep telling yourselves that. Whatever it takes to "save the family and protect tradition."

Health-care professionals and empathy

Earlier today, I read an article in Newsweek titled, "Sorry, But I Can't Help You: One study found that, in doctors, the brain circuits associated with empathy were suppressed."

The article went on to discuss one chemical engineer's path to find new and improved cancer treatments because his wife had dealt with breast cancer (and survived). The chemical engineer, Mark Davis, has been successful, thus far in the research process, in finding a better treatment for certain types of cancer. (read the article if you are interested in the specifics, it's not pertinent to mine).

The article ended by saying that David has had to stop answering his phone because potential subjects (cancer patients) kept calling, and he hated having to tell them his study was full.

"So I've stopped answering my phone, because I can't keep saying no to people. It's depressing. I guess doctors learn how to tell people they can't help them. But I'm not a doctor," he was quoted as saying.

Newsweek went on to claim: "He's right about doctors. Jean Decety, a psychologist at the University of Chicago, compared a group of doctors with laypeople, watching a video of patients receiving a painful acupuncture treatment. In the laypeople, parts of the brain associated with pain and with empathy were activated, but in doctors those circuits were suppressed, Decety found. Instead, they showed activity in areas associated with logical thinking. Decety said he wasn't surprised by Davis's experience.

'Doctors see people dying all the time,' he said, 'and if they couldn't modulate their emotions, they couldn't get through the day.' So you may be smart enough to cure cancer, but first ask yourself: are you tough enough?"

While the article is misleading in that it barely mentions empathy and doctors, it did get me thinking about how my experience of "empathy" has changed since I have been a nurse.

And for the record, doctors don't "see people dying all the time." Nor do nurses, or nurse practitioners. It is largely dependent on area of focus and whether you are in an acute care setting or primary care setting (or research, or some other setting). I doubt primary care providers, for example, have seen many (if at all) people die right before their eyes. And I doubt they would not feel empathy if they perceived one of their patients in extreme pain. I don't know that anyone, aside from someone antisocial personality disorder or an autistic person, could completely lack that kind of empathy.

Thus, the distinction should be made between "clinical empathy" and "layperson empathy" (for lack of a better term right now). Perhaps there are different parts of the brain involved in the two. I think it is misleading for an article to insinuate (or lead its readers into the assumption) that doctors are no longer able to feel empathy towards patients because they are so desensitized to pain and suffering.

A general definition of empathy is "one's ability to recognize, perceive and feel directly the emotion of another. Since the states of mind, beliefs, and desires of others are intertwined with their emotions, one with empathy for another may often be able to more effectively define another's mode of thought and mood. Empathy is often characterized as the ability to "put oneself into another's shoes", or to in some way experience the outlook or emotions of another being within oneself, a sort of emotional resonance."

To contrast, "sympathy" is feeling sorry for someone and wishing to share in their suffering. That is a big no-no in the health-care world. Not only would it be impossible to carry the burdens and suffering of every single patient on our backs, it is insulting to the patient to assume they would want us to do so. It is not our sympathy that patients want, it is our empathy. People with empathy can put themselves in another's shoes. And while we may never exactly understand what our patients' experiences are, it is important to try. For, by trying, we are letting them know that we will be their advocates and help them to our professional capacity. It is through empathy that we do our best to do what's best for our patients.

I did a quick internet search of "empathy and nurses" and "empathy and physicians" and honestly did not find as much material as I thought I would. When I have more time, I would like to do a scholarly search. Right now, I have enough work cut out for me.

In the internet search There was a story of a breast cancer survivor, also a former nurse, who had a horrible time in her hospital, thanks to unempathetic nurses who didn't explain anything to her or offer anticipatory guidance or patient education. I can't imagine working on an oncology floor and becoming so desensitized to the suffering of the patients, that I mindlessly wheel a breast-cancer survivor down to discharge while complaining about breast-feeding.

I've had similar experiences with nurses, too, when I go to my doctor. (yet not that extreme)

For example, I go to my doctor no more than once a year, and it's only for my annual exam and bloodwork. When I am sick, I tough it out without ever calling my doctor, because I know that most of the time, I have a virus. Being a nurse, I am careful to not be one of those annoying patients calling all the time, asking for special treatment, prescriptions for needless antibiotics, etc. The nurse (I assume she is a nurse, though she never actually introduces herself and doesn't wear a name-tag) places me on the scale, takes my vital signs, and leaves. I call for my results 2 weeks later, and she acts like it's the biggest hassle in the world. Once a year. If that. I won't be back there with my insurance money, because I know that the services I am requesting from her are like a 0.01 on the scale of easy to hard nursing duties.

And that's ignoring the times I have seen nurses mistreating my relatives and others in hospitals.

On the other hand, being a nurse, I have been lied to, screamed at, cursed at, physically threatened, hung up on, manipulated, and used as a verbal punching bag by patients in my career. I've been belittled for being young, for being a woman, and for being "only a nurse." I've been hit on, asked way too personal questions, thrown up on, shat on, peed on... I've seen nearly every body fluid that exists. And I have seen people on the brink of death. It could be very easy to become disillusioned with this career.

Thus, I am often torn between wanting to stick up for the millions of people in my profession who I know are overworked and underpaid, and chastising them for being so cold and uncaring during the most difficult parts of people's lives.

Now that I have been on both ends of the spectrum, I can try to find some common ground.

Do nurses become less able to empathize with people over their careers? Are they so burnt-out from dealing with thousands of ungrateful patients year after year who take advantage of them and the system?

This is the career I have chosen for myself. Not only that, I left my first career for this one. Do I have any right to complain as I did four paragraphs earlier? I knew what I was getting into when I went back to school. My mom was a nurse, after all.

It's all about finding that middle ground, so I'm learning. One can be nice, have empathy, be knowledgeable, and at the same time not take any crap from manipulative people who try to take advantage of your system.

There are simple rules I have learned in my short career to positive, successful interactions with patients/clients:

Most people have good intentions.

Most people are incredibly vulnerable and scared when they are sick or injured. Oftentimes, all they want is a friendly face.

Most people are seeking someone who will try to understand their position.

Most people are extremely grateful when you let them know you are trying to help them, when you introduce yourself to them, when you make eye contact with them, and when you are nice to them.

The nicer you are to patients, the greater the chances that they will NEVER sue you for malpractice.

Letting people know you are trying to empathize with them greatly increases the chances that the interaction will be positive.

If someone is immediately confrontational or combative (but without threat of physical harm) let them know you are trying to understand where they are coming from.

Anyway, I think the key in any "caring" profession (social work, nursing, teaching, etc) is finding a job that you love, that you are dedicated to, and that will keep you looking forward to work each day. I have found that, so far, and feel extremely lucky. My employer's mission is very similar to my life's/career mission and that helps me keep my focus, and keeps me from losing my ability to feel empathy towards our patients.

I'll end with a nursing quote I found earlier:

"Nursing encompasses an art, a humanistic orientation, a feeling for the value of the individual, and an intuitive sense of ethics, and of the appropriateness of action taken."

~Myrtle Aydelotte, 1992

More on that later...

Food for Thought

Earlier today, I half-jokingly posted a link to the "Hitler Youth" entry in Wikipedia, as a reference to my latest AFA Action Alert regarding the status of the "Truth for Youth Bible" that I (full-jokingly) ordered from the AFA. I insinuated that like the Hitler Jugend during the height of the Nazi regime in Germany, the AFA is recruiting tens of thousands of children to join a similar propaganda-ish "anti-state" regime in its war on homosexuals. They should be ashamed. But I digress...

I was bored tonight, and did a little more wiki-research on the topic. Enter the wikipedia topic "History of Homosexual People in Nazi Germany and the Holocaust." Among other disturbing tidbits I found:

"Nazism declared itself incompatible with homosexuality, because gays did not reproduce and perpetuate the master race. For the same reasons, masturbation was also considered harmful to the Reich, but treated lightly. There was also a fear among Nazis of a "gay gene" contamination."

and

"Hitler believed that homosexuality was "degenerate behavior" which posed a threat to the capacity of the state and the "masculine character" of the nation. Gay men were denounced as "enemies of the state" and charged with "corrupting" public morality and posing a threat to the German birthrate."

Scary, huh? How little some people's views differ from Der Fuhrer. (sorry, I don't know how to do umlauts on this blog)

Anyway, this is a case in point as to why, generally speaking, those who are very intolerant of anyone "different" from societal norms are dangerous. And why, as my "about me" section states, the ideals of love and acceptance are better than hate and intolerance. There are limits to that, of course, without going into a diatribe on polygamy, incest, bestiality, murderers, etc. But when it comes down to two consenting adults who aren't harming themselves or another person, no one should be able to dictate what another person does.

Oh, and FYI: "After the war, homosexual concentration camp prisoners were not acknowledged as victims of Nazi persecution.[3] Reparations and state pensions available to other groups were refused to gay men, who were still classified as criminals — the Nazi anti-gay law was not repealed until 1994, although both East and West Germany liberalized their criminal laws against adult homosexuality in the late 1960s.

Gay Holocaust survivors could be re-imprisoned for "repeat offences," and were kept on the modern lists of "sex offenders." Under the Allied Military Government of Germany, some homosexuals were forced to serve out their terms of imprisonment, regardless of the time spent in concentration camps.

The Nazis' anti-gay polices and their destruction of the early gay-rights movement were generally not considered suitable subject matter for Holocaust historians and educators. It was not until the 1970s and 1980s that there was some mainstream exploration of the theme, with Holocaust survivors writing their memories, plays such as "Bent", and more historical research and documentaries being published about the Nazis' homophobia and their destruction of the German gay-rights movement.

Since the 1980s, cities around the world have erected memorials to remember the thousands of homosexual people who were murdered and persecuted during the Holocaust. Major memorials can be found in Berlin, Amsterdam, Montevideo, and San Francisco.[4] In 2002, the German government released an official apology to the gay community.

In 2005, the European Parliament marked the 60th anniversary of the liberation of the Auschwitz camp with a minute's silence and the passage of a resolution which included the following text:

"...27 January 2005, the sixtieth anniversary of the liberation of Nazi Germany's death camp at Auschwitz-Birkenau, where a combined total of up to 1.5 million Jews, Roma, Poles, Russians and prisoners of various other nationalities, and homosexuals, were murdered, is not only a major occasion for European citizens to remember and condemn the enormous horror and tragedy of the Holocaust, but also for addressing the disturbing rise in anti-semitism, and especially anti-semitic incidents, in Europe, and for learning anew the wider lessons about the dangers of victimising people on the basis of race, ethnic origin, religion, social classification, politics or sexual orientation,..."

The memorial to the gay victims of the Holocaust in Berlin says, "Totgeschlagen - Totgeschwiegen." ("Struck dead, hushed up"). Let us learn from past atrocities and fight so this never happens again.

As I've stated before in other arguments, I am optimistic that the tide is swiftly changing for the better in the US. Stand up against hate speech. Stand up when someone says "fag" or "that's gay" or "dyke." For in the end, we can all say we were on the right side of justice and equality and not have to live with past embarrassments and regret.